More often than not, the reason we do not write is because of the lies we tell ourselves about writing. My lie that I tell myself is that I don’t have time. This morning I just had an epiphany that this is in fact a lie. I do have time. (We’re in a pandemic.) I think sometimes when you name something as a lie it becomes less true. Maybe. Let’s just throw this at the wall and see if it sticks.
Tell me about the lies you tell yourself that prevent you from writing.
sometimes i (shamefully) don't trust words. that probably sounds like the biggest excuse in the world (it is) but i'm often afraid that the moment i try to tell a story or explain a feeling in the form of an essay with a beginning and end, i'll inevitably lose the nuance that exists in my head. it's like when something big happens in your life and you have to make the rounds telling all of your friends about it – each time the story gets shorter, or more detailed, or more vague, or you exaggerate certain parts, or you get embarrassed and downplay the whole thing. verbalization leads to solidification and our memories are just as volatile as anything else, and that feels sacred and scary to risk. BUT...that is maybe also the solution....our memories are volatile!!! so they will inevitably change on their own with time, and we can trick our own recollections of our experiences into being/meaning something else, whether we write about them or not. so it's all the same really, and you might as well try to write. ok im rambling
This makes a lot of sense, and I actually feel the same way a lot of the time. I often feel like something is not worth writing about if I can't find a way to verbalize it exactly the way I feel about it in my head.
I think what you said about "verbalization leads to solidification" doesn't have to be true actually. I think it would actually be really refreshing to see more writers write from a place of "this is how I feel about the situation right now. I felt a different way about it when it first happened. and I'll probably feel another way about it in a few days." I think we should also just all have the assumption when we're reading people's work that their feelings are subject to change, and we can't hold them to what they wrote at any given time. but also i totally feel you and this is a big road block for me most of the time.
For some reason I think that calling myself a writer means I must write everyday. Yes I have been journaling consistently for almost 10 years and I often write poems to process emotions, but they're not the short stories or novels that I want to publish someday. I wish I could set aside time to work on new pieces at the same time every day but I've learned that routines rarely work for me--I'm spontaneous with my creative pursuits. I guess my real dilemma is that I don't have the courage to start a big project. In my head I make it into a whole production that requires tons of energy and time and perfection on the first go and I can't get past that. Oh the eternal struggle...
I also have not been able to nail down a schedule, which makes finishing big projects like youre referencing really hard to do. Have you considering joining a writing group? I’m in one now and having other writers to connect with at the very least gives me accountability and deadlines to work towards.
That's a great idea! I'm currently in college and forever looking for fellow classmates to Zoom and do homework with so that they hold me accountable but I never thought to do that for writing. I probably thought I didn't/don't have time since I'm in school and also work. But these are just excuses, I'll start searching for a group! Thank you!
I also find myself thinking that the topic or idea isn't original enough. Like "who would even care to read that" type of energy. My writing has to be so different from the rest and I have this notion that once I achieve being *different*, that's when I will actually feel good about it, which is CRAZY lmao. I blame my aquarius rising lol. And it's all so unrealistic and phony when I think of the topics that my favorite writers have written about. I love that you said naming it as a lie takes away some of its power. That's such a good way to put it and I'm gonna try to call myself out on the bullshit more
i journal every morning and i songwrite most days. the thing i haven't quite gotten into the practice of doing is screenwriting, despite the joy i get doing it. i've been able to normalise messiness and failure with journaling and songwriting but with screenwriting, i always feel i need a good enough idea and enough inspiration to even tackle it. i guess it's my imposter syndrome, putting off doing anything to protect myself from thinking my work's not up to standard.
This is really interesting to think about in terms of being more comfortable with different types of writing. I definitely feel more comfortable with essay writing. But have a harder time when it comes to screenwriting. (Which is funny bc I majored in Screenwriting in college lol). I would love to read some of your stuff sometime btw!
Did you enjoy your time majoring in screenwriting? I imagine it's both frustrating and great practice having to push out content for a grade. and, yes! Any time. I'd love to read yours too!
Lies: I don't have time. I don't have enough time to get into the mode and stay there awhile. And currently, with a project that has a due date: that it's not going to be as good as people expect it to be.
that i don’t have the time to get in my feelings to write. I always need to listen to a song and just try to pour myself into the paper so it’s not always easy to write and I always tell myself I have more things to get done than get on my feelings and write
I FEEL that. Writing can be like therapy. Which is great sometimes. But also hard when you’re not really trying to be in your feels. I’m glad you were able to overcome that for a bit last night though!
“I’m not a good enough writer.” “I don’t have anything to write about.” “I can’t write because I don’t have internet connection and can’t access Google Docs.” “I should be doing something more productive - cleaning, taxes, grocery shopping.”
I tell myself I’ll write after completing every task that takes priority for the day and then the tasks fall into the next day. I then tell myself I’ll write before starting my day and that never happens either 🥴
I feel like this is a big one for people. And it's not true!! You have so many things to write about. I'm sure of it.
Also do you journal at all? I feel like that would help with feeling like you can only write when you have a solid and complete idea. I find that journaling just normalizes putting my thoughts down without the pressure of having anyone else see it.
sometimes i (shamefully) don't trust words. that probably sounds like the biggest excuse in the world (it is) but i'm often afraid that the moment i try to tell a story or explain a feeling in the form of an essay with a beginning and end, i'll inevitably lose the nuance that exists in my head. it's like when something big happens in your life and you have to make the rounds telling all of your friends about it – each time the story gets shorter, or more detailed, or more vague, or you exaggerate certain parts, or you get embarrassed and downplay the whole thing. verbalization leads to solidification and our memories are just as volatile as anything else, and that feels sacred and scary to risk. BUT...that is maybe also the solution....our memories are volatile!!! so they will inevitably change on their own with time, and we can trick our own recollections of our experiences into being/meaning something else, whether we write about them or not. so it's all the same really, and you might as well try to write. ok im rambling
This makes a lot of sense, and I actually feel the same way a lot of the time. I often feel like something is not worth writing about if I can't find a way to verbalize it exactly the way I feel about it in my head.
I think what you said about "verbalization leads to solidification" doesn't have to be true actually. I think it would actually be really refreshing to see more writers write from a place of "this is how I feel about the situation right now. I felt a different way about it when it first happened. and I'll probably feel another way about it in a few days." I think we should also just all have the assumption when we're reading people's work that their feelings are subject to change, and we can't hold them to what they wrote at any given time. but also i totally feel you and this is a big road block for me most of the time.
hmmm MUCH TO THINK ABOUT!
"I have to write everyday"
For some reason I think that calling myself a writer means I must write everyday. Yes I have been journaling consistently for almost 10 years and I often write poems to process emotions, but they're not the short stories or novels that I want to publish someday. I wish I could set aside time to work on new pieces at the same time every day but I've learned that routines rarely work for me--I'm spontaneous with my creative pursuits. I guess my real dilemma is that I don't have the courage to start a big project. In my head I make it into a whole production that requires tons of energy and time and perfection on the first go and I can't get past that. Oh the eternal struggle...
I also have not been able to nail down a schedule, which makes finishing big projects like youre referencing really hard to do. Have you considering joining a writing group? I’m in one now and having other writers to connect with at the very least gives me accountability and deadlines to work towards.
That's a great idea! I'm currently in college and forever looking for fellow classmates to Zoom and do homework with so that they hold me accountable but I never thought to do that for writing. I probably thought I didn't/don't have time since I'm in school and also work. But these are just excuses, I'll start searching for a group! Thank you!
I also find myself thinking that the topic or idea isn't original enough. Like "who would even care to read that" type of energy. My writing has to be so different from the rest and I have this notion that once I achieve being *different*, that's when I will actually feel good about it, which is CRAZY lmao. I blame my aquarius rising lol. And it's all so unrealistic and phony when I think of the topics that my favorite writers have written about. I love that you said naming it as a lie takes away some of its power. That's such a good way to put it and I'm gonna try to call myself out on the bullshit more
here’s to calling ourselves out in 2021 🤝
"i don't have a good enough idea."
i journal every morning and i songwrite most days. the thing i haven't quite gotten into the practice of doing is screenwriting, despite the joy i get doing it. i've been able to normalise messiness and failure with journaling and songwriting but with screenwriting, i always feel i need a good enough idea and enough inspiration to even tackle it. i guess it's my imposter syndrome, putting off doing anything to protect myself from thinking my work's not up to standard.
This is really interesting to think about in terms of being more comfortable with different types of writing. I definitely feel more comfortable with essay writing. But have a harder time when it comes to screenwriting. (Which is funny bc I majored in Screenwriting in college lol). I would love to read some of your stuff sometime btw!
Did you enjoy your time majoring in screenwriting? I imagine it's both frustrating and great practice having to push out content for a grade. and, yes! Any time. I'd love to read yours too!
or that I don’t know how to write or describe what I want to say.
Mine is the exact same, that "I don't have time," when time is not mine to have, it is there regardless, but it is up to me what I do with it.
Lies: I don't have time. I don't have enough time to get into the mode and stay there awhile. And currently, with a project that has a due date: that it's not going to be as good as people expect it to be.
that i don’t have the time to get in my feelings to write. I always need to listen to a song and just try to pour myself into the paper so it’s not always easy to write and I always tell myself I have more things to get done than get on my feelings and write
I FEEL that. Writing can be like therapy. Which is great sometimes. But also hard when you’re not really trying to be in your feels. I’m glad you were able to overcome that for a bit last night though!
thank you! ❤️
BUT, last night I actually kinda overcame this and just wrote and I felt so much better
“I’m not a good enough writer.” “I don’t have anything to write about.” “I can’t write because I don’t have internet connection and can’t access Google Docs.” “I should be doing something more productive - cleaning, taxes, grocery shopping.”
I tell myself I’ll write after completing every task that takes priority for the day and then the tasks fall into the next day. I then tell myself I’ll write before starting my day and that never happens either 🥴
That's very real. When you factor in all the other things you need to do it can be hard to find time to write. I'm still struggling with that tbh.
I feel like this is a big one for people. And it's not true!! You have so many things to write about. I'm sure of it.
Also do you journal at all? I feel like that would help with feeling like you can only write when you have a solid and complete idea. I find that journaling just normalizes putting my thoughts down without the pressure of having anyone else see it.
So glad you're enjoying the newsletter (-: