💭 what was the first thing you thought about when you woke up? 💭
Not a Writers Club is a bi-weekly newsletter. Here you’ll find musings written by me (Celeste) along with writing prompts that you can try out yourself. If you’ve been looking for a sign to keep writing, this is it.
The very first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning was a list of things I need to buy. The items on this list range from random, inexpensive things like this mouthwash I discovered on TikTok to borderline outrageous items like this tiny lamp that I got an ad for on my Instagram feed the other day. (If you see me post a picture of it a couple weeks from now, mind your business.)
Sometimes I feel like my brain is but a mental shopping cart, to which I am perpetually adding items. I know I’m not special for wanting material things that I don’t need. But sometimes I wonder if other people feel an ongoing sense of anxiety until they buy at least one thing from their mental shopping cart like I do. Or I am just comment dit on…unwell?
But I don’t always wake up thinking about the list of things I want to buy. Sometimes it’s a list of things I need to do:
Take out recycling
Pick up prescription at Walgreens
Taxes
Build the shelf you bought that’s been sitting in the living room unassembled for a week
Update: I built the shelf. This is what it looks like.
Other times, I will wake up and upon opening my eyes feel the urge to track down someone I went to elementary school with. (I do this a lot, which makes me think I need psychological evaluation.)
Like this girl Tiyi–pronounced “tee-yee” as she loved to remind everyone–who was in my class in Kindergarten. Everyday she came to school with her brownish-blonde hair in two afro puffs. She was usually dropped off by her mom, who was Black and really tall and like the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. On other days she was dropped off by her dad, who was Latino, and from what I remember, shorter than her mom. (King shit.)
Unfortunately, I have not been able to find Tiyi anywhere in my extensive search into the deepest corners of the web. Which makes me sad, because I want to know how she’s doing. I want to know what her sign is. I want to know if she listens to SZA.
When I don’t wake up thinking about a list of things I need to do or buy, or people from elementary school that I need to stalk, I wake up thinking about how I can improve myself. I recently procured two work-on-yourself type journals, one called Do It For Yourself that I bought mostly because it was pretty, and another called Today I Affirm that Brea gave me for Christmas. The first is geared towards helping you reach your creative goals and the other contains prompts that encourage self-affirmation. Some mornings my most difficult decision is deciding whether or not I want to start the day outlining my memoir, or healing my inner child. Which, now that I’m writing it out sort of feels like the same thing.
I pay a lot of attention to what I think about when I first wake up because I think it says a lot about who I am. I’ve never been the kind of person who can sleep in. I wake up every day at 7 AM, feeling like I’m up against a ticking clock. I rush into the day like I have a deadline. For what? I don’t know.
Last week I did a discussion thread, asking readers what are the lies they tell themselves that prevent them from writing. Mine is that I don’t have enough time, which is crazy because in a pandemic, I have more time on my hands than ever before. At the same time, it feels like there’s so much to do now. So many things to buy and little tasks to complete and people to stalk and personal growth to foster. And how can I possibly do it all?
The other day I woke up and decided it was a healing my inner child kind of morning and so I wrote in the “Today I Affirm” journal. The affirmation I wrote for the day was “I have enough time” which I’m earnestly trying my hardest to believe.
Prompt: What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up this morning?
ICYMI ↩️
The last newsletter prompt was to post a photo of you bedside table on IG and tell me what’s on it using #notawritersclub. So many people actually did and it made me smile. Go check them out.
Required Reading 📚
This Instagram post.
Quick Tip 📝
Do your dishes before you go to sleep. You will wake up feeling absolutely in love with yourself and this will inspire you to write something.
You can find me online in most places at @celestuhl.
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Killing it yet again, Celeste. You inspire me!
I want to start by saying I totally relate to having a list of stuff I want to buy. I connected so much with that part of your post because I love looking for new things I want to buy. I took my mental list a step further and made it a list on my notes app on my phone. I’ve been checking it off as I acquire the items on the list. I love stuff and I have a lot of stuff already but that doesn’t stop me for shopping around for new stuff.
What is it about things that feel so personal? I went to the park the other day with some sketch books n my reading book and pens and colored pencils and my pencil pouch all packed on my tote with my water bottle and as I layers my items out on my picnic blanket it felt like all these items were an extension of me. Like I here I am among my water bottle and note books and pens and blanket. All items I selected. Maybe it’s the capitalist society that has imprinted these thoughts in me, or maybe it’s human nature to collect things we like and attach ourselves to them a bit...either way the feeling is there.
The thoughts I wake up with in the morning are usually about checking my phone. I’ve been trying to interrupt those thoughts by first saying I am grateful to be alive today or that I am excited for the day. Then I’ll just lay in bed and try and remember my dream.
Last night I dreamed that I loved someone so much. My last relationship ended 4 months ago and I usually dream about the, at least a few times a week. But last night I was in love with someone else, and it felt like a really healthy relationship. Something I have not personally experienced but I believe is out there. That was a very interesting dream. So I thought about that for a while before grabbing my phone to scroll.